“The Last Word Syndrome” On Social Media

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

“The Last Word Syndrome” On Social Media After Proof is Clearly Distinguished

Imam Al-Barbahaaree, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: Al-Hasan (al-Basree) said, “The wise man does not argue or seek to overcome with stratagem rather he propagates his wisdom. If it is accepted, he praises Allah and if it is rejected he praises Allah”. [Sharh As-Sunnah]

Al-Allamah Salih Al-Fawzan, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

The wise man is the one who posses wisdom, and wisdom is to place something in its place. Similarly, the wise one means the one with understanding.

He does not debate (with) a fruitless debate that is devoid of benefit.

He propagates his knowledge and if accepted he praises Allah. This is what is sought after. If it is not accepted, he is absolved of his responsibility and the proof is conveyed.

“He praises Allah” because he established and conveyed the proof, and fulfilled what is required of him, and the guiding of the hearts is in the hands of Allah. [1]

Nowadays, many individuals on social media platforms, such as Twitter and others, engage in discussions on various topics. However, when they encounter someone whom they consider less knowledgeable or inferior in a particular area, or when their own inflated status in another domain is challenged, they struggle to accept reality. They often believe that they alone should be the authoritative voices on specific subjects, dismissing others whom they deem to have lesser expertise. Consequently, anyone who attempts to correct their misunderstandings is not only viewed as incorrect but also as having insulted their authority and expertise, whether in relation to religious or worldly matters, even when those they regard as adversaries cite recognised experts in the field. Without hesitation, they resort to social media to harshly criticize those they see as opponents, often distorting their statements. When faced with critical questioning regarding the foundation of their accusations, they typically respond with further ambiguity or employ various evasion tactics that is not befitting anyone who claims moral superiority. Then when subsequently challenged and find themselves cornered, they exhibit a tendency to engage in a series of tirades, manipulation, emotional blackmail, and misrepresentation on social media, driven by a desire to have the final say. We observe this behaviour among individuals on social media—those who are confident in their mistakes, as well as those who are uncertain about their correctness, often driven by an inflated sense of self-worth that compels them to maintain a favourable image at all costs, while simultaneously portraying their adversaries in a negative light.

It is very important to recognise that individuals from diverse backgrounds engage with social media for various purposes. A person may struggle to gain recognition within their own country or face limitations in expressing certain opinions; however, they can reach a different audience online, where they may seek to influence others by initially capturing attention through shared information, gradually attracting unsuspecting supporters through the details they provide, the inquiries they address, and the notable figures they reference. Once they establish an online presence, particularly when their influence is restricted elsewhere and their mistakes are exposed, their online conduct can become increasingly problematic. When confronted in a broad platform like social media and challenged for a public misstep—one that could have been addressed privately—their dominant demeanour often surfaces in all online discussions. This is because they are typically unwilling to acknowledge the possibility of alternative perspectives, instead striving to assert their correctness at all costs.

We continue to witness the coercive communication tactics employed by numerous individuals on social media, which have become an ingrained aspect of their nature and behaviour. Consequently, discerning individuals begin to distance themselves from these individuals, as many start to feel the repercussions of their attitude of needing to have the final word. The peak of this opinionated conduct is evident in their conversational patterns, particularly when they are unable to contribute meaningfully to the discussion. Ultimately, they resort to summarizing and paraphrasing the discussion’s outcomes, presenting themselves as the initiators or as more knowledgeable than others. In addition, they endevour to evade accountability for their negative actions, as they hope to be forgotten amidst the torrent of tweets, ultimately seeking to emerge as the victor in any dialogue. This addiction compels them to impose their views and showcase their perceived superiority, blurring the lines between those they can challenge without consequence and those who can effectively articulate their mistakes, contradictions, deceptions, and misrepresentations.

When an individual expresses facts, whether gently or harshly, they often trigger their ‘Last Word Syndrome,’ leading them to respond with disdain or to divert the conversation, presenting themselves as more knowledgeable and wise than others. Consequently, discerning individuals recognize that such people on social media become isolated from those with sound judgment, yet they attract a following of unjustifiably discontented individuals or those united by a shared animosity towards someone who refuses to remain silent about their wrongdoings when clarification is warranted. Thus, every discussion transforms into a battleground for these egomaniacs, where the perception of not achieving victory is seen as unworthy of their status and undeserved by those they consider ignorant for daring to challenge or reveal their mistakes.

It is crucial to recognize that individuals who exhibit such behavior are likely to persistently undermine the authentic emotions and experiences of others, believing that this will render others feeling overlooked and insignificant. Consequently, upon encountering such individuals, it is prudent to maintain a sensible distance, adopt appropriate positions, and leave their affair to a select few who can effectively address their negative behaviour without becoming entangled in it. This is due to the fact that the pursuit of validation can become an unending cycle, fueled by the abuser’s refusal to acknowledge reality stemming from their inflated self-perception. These individuals cannot be confronted about their actions by just anyone, even in the most gentle manner, without incurring severely adverse repercussions. Engaging in reasoning, communication, or compromise with them is futile. They are incapable of viewing situations from alternative perspectives; instead, they thrive on eliciting reactions and emotions, often resorting to any means necessary to provoke them.

They relish the attention garnered from reprimands directed at them by multitudes of people, which only serves to embolden their misbehaviour online. The more you respond, the more detrimental the situation becomes. Consequently, your silence and withdrawal of attention inflict significant discomfort upon them. This is their form of punishment while we observe how those capable of reprimanding them expose their behaviour for all rational individuals to witness. It is futile for anyone to provide them with attention; instead, what is required from all of us is to assert our positions without hesitation or compromise. This is due to the fact that for these individuals, the matter is not about the subject at hand, but rather about exerting control and manipulation. They flourish in chaos, and permitting others to have the final say would undermine their perceived authority over you.

Another important matter to consider is their continuous role as a source of drama. For nearly three decades, some Salafi teachers in the West, guided by senior scholars from Muslim regions, have managed to navigate the complexities of this drama. They have learned to discern when it is appropriate to engage and when to simply observe, responding thoughtfully and then moving forward. This experience stems from their interactions with individuals who have long sought drama, even before the emergence of twitter, and who have personally encountered those capable of fabricating false narratives to rationalise their anger to others in pursuit of a bigger agenda. Thus whenever the egomaniacs begin their tirade on social media, regardless of the numbers that follow them, we remind ourselves as follows:

They are once again drawn into their dramatic tendencies, attempting to evade a deeply painful situation. Their intense behaviour stems from a desire for recognition. Consequently, let these individuals believe they can dominate conversations through intimidation and manipulation, silencing others in the process. As adults in our late forties to fifties, with children and grandchildren, we know that after truth is manifest, those who cannot refrain from having the final say often possess a fragmented self-identity. They frequently experience high levels of anxiety and seek to alleviate their stress by insisting on being ‘right’ and prevailing in every dispute. Lacking a solid sense of self, they define their identity through reactivity and unnecessary confrontations. Their actions reflect their own issues, not ours; thus, we should remain calm and avoid emotional provocation, instead, while relying on others to address the behaviour of these people, we ask Allah for Tawfiq to strengthen ourselves.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

Whoever is given strength and facilitated to (engage in) something, his pleasure will be found in utilising that strength. Whoever is granted the strength to have sexual relations will find pleasure in utilising his strength in it. Whoever is given strength to become angry and overcome (others) will utilise the strength of his anger. Whoever is given the strength to eat and drink, his pleasure will be found in utilising his strength. Whoever is given the strength to (acquire) knowledge and understanding, his pleasure will be found in utilising his strength and directing it towards knowledge. Whoever is given strength in loving Allah, turning to Him in repentance, submission and obedience, being devoted to Allah (sincerely in one’s) heart, having an ardent desire to please, obey, and meet Allah in (the Hereafter) and desiring to come close to Allah, be recognised and loved by Allah, he will find his pleasure and bliss in utilising this strength in that. All the pleasures will dwindle and disappear, except this one (i.e. love of Allah). [2]

We ask Allah:

اللَّهُمَّ أَصْلِحْ لِي دِينِي الَّذِي هُوَ عِصْمَةُ أَمْرِي

وَأَصْلِحْ لِي دُنْيَايَ الَّتِي فِيهَا مَعَاشِي

وَأَصْلِحْ لِي آخِرَتِي الَّتِي فِيهَا مَعَادِي

وَاجْعَلِ الْحَيَاةَ زِيَادَةً لِي فِي كُلِّ خَيْرٍ

وَاجْعَلِ الْمَوْتَ رَاحَةً لِي مِنْ كُلِّ شَرٍّ

O Allah! Rectify my religion for me, which is the safeguard of my affairs; rectify my worldly [affairs], wherein is my livelihood; and rectify my Afterlife to which is my return; and make life for me [as a means of] increase in every good and make death for me as a rest from every evil. [Saheeh Muslim Number: 2720]

[1] An Excerpt from It’haf Al-Qari Bitta’liqaat Alaa Sharh As- Sunnah Lil Imam Barbahaaree. 2/265-266
[2] Al-Fawaa’id 121-122